Forgiveness

Who is it we need to forgive anyway?

Really think about that question. Is it our brother, sister, Mother, Father, spouse, partner, or maybe a past friend? Who is it?

Who you need to forgive deep down is probably not who you thought. It all begins with you. If you can’t forgive you how can you be expected to forgive another person? You will continually be out of balance with your life.

Forgiveness begins with you.

And what have you done anyway that is so bad you need forgiveness? Did you steal something, smoke something, or speak badly toward others? Or did you do something so bad you have never told anyone else? Carrying the guilt that tags along with forgiveness is a weight on your heart.

Here is how you begin the process of forgiveness.

First, choose to forgive yourself for your trespasses against yourself and others.

Next, use the power of meditation to uncover those transgressions that have caused the need to forgive. Write them all down. This is a process I recommend repeating again and again. Don’t rush the discovery period. Some things you need to forgive yourself for will be clear and other will need uncovering and discovering. Maybe they lay in your subconscious mind.

Now, feel how those things you need forgiveness for are affecting you. Does it feel good or do you feel a knot in your stomach? Then, you need to commit to owning the item for forgiveness and deal with letting it go. Put away any denial. This may take courage so that you can be open and honest with yourself.

Write yourself a letter stating how forgiveness will help you. Own your unhappiness and let it drift away.  Then let the light of happiness stream into your mind and heart.

Forgiveness is the first step toward a life that matters. Begin by forgiving yourself first and others second. When you are clear, then you can proceed ahead realizing your dreams.

Creating your personal vision – part V

Last night I was laying awake thinking about goal setting and this post. Running through my head were voices that said, “Isn’t there enough written about goal setting already, and … who are you to be some authority on the subject anyway.” I had to coral the negative forces acting to stop me before I even started writing on this subject.

When I woke up I chose to do two things. First, I wanted to know how many search results would come up is I input “goal setting” to bing.com. I figured maybe a million. What I got was 9,830,000 results. Wow!! Second, my goal with the content of this post is to be different. So, forget about the nearly ten million results and come along with me on a unique journey of aligning your vision to your intentions in a simple way.

Here is my home grown definition of a goal. It is to intentionally focus and aim toward doing, being, or having something more, better, or faster for the benefit of you and/or others.

The entire process of setting and achieving goals should be easy. It should be easy so that you do not become discouraged and quit before you even begin. My own experience suggests that too much strategizing, detail, or finite planning has a negative effect on the successful outcome of my goal or intention. Simple and easy is better.

All you need to do are these five things.

  • Thinking
  • Alignment
  • Anchors
  • Mapping
  • Thrust

Trust me when I say that thinking is king. If you can think and see your goal as if it has already happened in the future you have starting spot for aiming. What do you see in the future? Seeing is believing.

Now, to avoid the happy start followed immediately by the doubt I suggest you begin by asking yourself this question, “What success did I have achieving my last goal?” Write down your discoveries on a sheet paper. Follow that question with this question, “How was I able to have those successes or What specifically did I do to achieve the reality of success with my past goals?” Write it down.

I speak a lot about anchors. These are not ship anchors but mental anchors to keep you focused and grounded on what you intend. Here are three anchors you could and should incorporate on your journey toward living your vision.

  • Answer on paper “Why” this is important. What is driving you?
  • Create and use affirmations to program your subconscious mind for success.
  • Find an accountability partner, mentor, or coach who can help hold you accountable to your goals or intentions.

Please do not take these three anchors lightly. They are your friends. They will help you truly attain what it is you seek. These anchors are in place to divert the storm (obstacles) that will come as you move forward on reaching your intended outcome of your goal.

Businesses use strategic planning as a guide for long-term direction toward their vision. If it is good for business it should be good for you as well. After all, isn’t your life, family, much like a business when you really think it through?

While you were thinking and seeing the future you had a time line in mind for your target. It might have been twenty-five years ahead or five, or some other measure. None the less, you have the end date for your goal or intention. Now, like all great businesses you need to reverse engineer the path you will take to find your goal. Brainstorm all possible ideas, steps, classes, or help you will need and place them in order of accomplishment. Think of it like seeing your goal at the top of a staircase and in order to get it you need to climb the stairs. Each step is a step closer to getting that goal.

When you are mapping avoid the need to plan in too much detail. Like an egg, we know the yoke goes inside the shell and all we need to know as we are mapping a plan to our goal is that there is an egg. We will discover the yoke later.

All of the planning in the world is wasted energy if you never get to acting on your plan. Use your anchors to fend off the dark lunatic in your mind, you know the figment of your mind that will throw up doubts and fears and send you a stray from your mission to get your goal. One way to avoid this dark lunatic is to begin immediately taking action on what you intended through your mapping session. I call this thrusting forward.

Now, here’s the easy part. I refer to is as the “3×3 Power” method. You could use what you saw during the thinking part of this goal setting exercise or you could select the top three areas of improvement from your life balance wheel. Either way works.

You need a stack of 3×5 index cards. Every morning pull out a new card and write down your goal or intention and list three activities you will take action on today to move you closer to your reality of living your intention. These might be small action or larger actions.

Here is an example. Write on your card your goal, and then list three actions to take that day.

“I intend to have a fasting glucose of no more than 85 each day.”

Actions are:

  1. Measure my level first thing in the morning before eating.
  2. Record my level at www.sparkpeople.com/
  3. Read an article related to low fat or low carb foods.

Can you see how you are creating a habit of acting on your goal every day? Over the course of 30 days you will have taken 270 actions on 3 goals. You will be on your way to creating a habit that will change your life.

And… when you are all done with the first month, rinse and repeat as the shampoo bottle suggests.

I would love to hear about your goals or intentions and how you have mastered achievement with goal setting?