Who is it we need to forgive anyway?
Really think about that question. Is it our brother, sister, Mother, Father, spouse, partner, or maybe a past friend? Who is it?
Who you need to forgive deep down is probably not who you thought. It all begins with you. If you can’t forgive you how can you be expected to forgive another person? You will continually be out of balance with your life.
Forgiveness begins with you.
And what have you done anyway that is so bad you need forgiveness? Did you steal something, smoke something, or speak badly toward others? Or did you do something so bad you have never told anyone else? Carrying the guilt that tags along with forgiveness is a weight on your heart.
Here is how you begin the process of forgiveness.
First, choose to forgive yourself for your trespasses against yourself and others.
Next, use the power of meditation to uncover those transgressions that have caused the need to forgive. Write them all down. This is a process I recommend repeating again and again. Don’t rush the discovery period. Some things you need to forgive yourself for will be clear and other will need uncovering and discovering. Maybe they lay in your subconscious mind.
Now, feel how those things you need forgiveness for are affecting you. Does it feel good or do you feel a knot in your stomach? Then, you need to commit to owning the item for forgiveness and deal with letting it go. Put away any denial. This may take courage so that you can be open and honest with yourself.
Write yourself a letter stating how forgiveness will help you. Own your unhappiness and let it drift away. Then let the light of happiness stream into your mind and heart.
Forgiveness is the first step toward a life that matters. Begin by forgiving yourself first and others second. When you are clear, then you can proceed ahead realizing your dreams.
I think forgiveness whether someone else or ourselves is an act of letting go. When we are able to forgive, we are able to live a much fuller and richer life.
A totally true statement. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Being able to forgive self and others is so important. This takes choosing to forgive and forget. Great post today.
Great topic, forgiving ones self can be very difficult, especially because it means owning up to our own mistakes. Sometimes, it is even more complicated, such as when you have placed blame on yourself when you shouldn’t. Example: For some crazy reason I blamed myself for my dads death. Completely irrational, he died of cancer, there was nothing I did or didn’t do that caused him to die. What I finally had to realize was that I felt powerless to stop the cancer and so I blamed myself.
I think many people place undue blame on themselves and it can really cripple healing. Thanks for the post! I think it will help many people.
TC — Great comment. I completely understand your pain and guilt. I too have guilt like this, it revolves around my daughter. She is troubled. She is a heroin addict. I think sometimes it is my fault because I didn’t go get her years ago. Now I have her. She called me from a motel with a few bucks left to her name and nothing but her clothes. It was heart breaking. I was torn. Do I help or let her go. I could not let my daughter go homeless so I helped. It nearly cost me dearly. And in the end I am her father and the last hope she had. We are now working on forgiveness for her and making better choices. Thanks so much for reading and commenting here at my blog.
Spencer, I like how you prioritized forgiveness – first yourself and then others. That works!
It has to begin with you. If you try to fix others while you are saddled down with your own baggage your efforts will be transparent. When you have walked a mile in your own moccasins, then you are ready to help others with their own baggage. Thanks for stopping by Joe.